Week 4, 2024

Mum is out of hospital (hooray) - but not after spending more than a day with a COVID patient in the ward (booo) and so has the week testing every day so that, if positive, she can get treatment before it sticks. We were all extra nervous about her getting out because it turned out my Dad (also vulnerable) hadn’t had a COVID booster since the beta variant: he hadn’t caught COVID and so had convinced himself he was naturally immune. Of course I frogmarched him down to the drop-in vaccination clinic as soon as I found out, but it doesn’t kick-in right away, hence the anxiety. Another revelation from all this was hearing my Dad, when asked by a medical professional what health conditions he has, say “I’m in good health”. Then, when pressed, he said he’s got a touch of arthritis. It’s only with me standing there and asking a different question - “what medications do you take each day?” did they find out that he’s on statins and insulin and half a dozen other pills for quite serious health problems. Reflection: there’s still quite a distance to go on medical record access before health professionals don’t have to rely on scared, confused, forgetful people to be reliable witnesses to their own health. But, until then, I’m going to have to figure out how to be a better remote/long-distance advocate.

Storm Isha meant getting from Prestwick to Newcastle was interesting. Trees, sheds and trampolines on the track meant Scotrail was checking every line thoroughly before running passenger trains on them - so they were opened up one-at-a-time as each was cleared. This meant I did not manage to catch my 7am train to Glasgow. As I wasn’t in a rush, I decided to challenge myself to enjoy the journey instead of stressing about it. I knew that if I couldn’t reach Newcastle the same day, I’d still be able to get a hotel room in any of the cities I was transferring through. With my worst case scenario still entirely manageable, I chose to focus on connecting with nature and staying in the moment. I watched the wind whipping through the trees, the waves crashing over esplanades, I enjoyed my hair being blown around and blowing the cobwebs away (until I got sand in my face, that was less fun). I did some people watching. The coastline between Edinburgh and Newcastle was stunning. It really helped me switch off from the stress of my parents’ health and move into a completely different mindset. Reflection: reframing things can utterly transform how I experience my day. I need to be this intentional more often, especially as things at home get more upsetting.

Newcastle was great. I love it when I get to work with clients saying “help us adopt new ways of working”, rather than clients saying “help them adopt new ways of working”. Being volunteered for coaching, or being unwillingly or unknowingly coached, is usually ineffective and feels quite shady. Stepping up as a leadership team, self-aware and open-minded for coaching together, is refreshing and impressive. And my colleagues were fantastic - whip-smart, bold-as-brass, deeply incisive, massively productive, team-building and storytelling geniuses. Reflection: teams with a strong sense of agency, self-awareness and a growth mindset can achieve pretty much anything. Oh, and in order to raise your own game you need to surround yourself with people better than you and watch how they do what they do.

I was pleased to arrive the day before the first workshop - I’m really not at my best when I’m exhausted from travelling. Rested, I was able to bring the Audree-esque contributions they keep me around for, rather than being just another helpful body in the room. On the way home I had enough energy to power through a great deal of work on the train - massively productive time - and get a jump start on the rest of the week, removing what would otherwise have been a significant source of cognitive load. Reflection: I have unique and valuable skills, knowledge and talent that I can bring for my colleagues and clients if I can create and protect the conditions I need to do so.

My colleagues have been pretty fantastic over recent weeks - incredibly supportive, checking in on how I’m feeling and what help I need, arranging things so that I can work flexibly or be less available if I need to. We had a project kick-off with clients on Thursday and, though I’d dipped into the planning for that 3 hour session, the team had it handled without me. Though I spent time the morning before the workshop putting some cherries on top, it was so reassuring to see that if I had needed to stay in Scotland with my mum, the team would still have managed to squeeze a huge amount of value out of that workshop. Have I mentioned how much I love working with talented people? Reflection: I chose to work in a company where people genuinely care about each other. Where folks will insist you go home to bed if you’re ill. Where people will remind you that “it’s just work” when you’ve lost that perspective. And where they won’t hesitate to pick up the slack so you can be where you need to be, without client work suffering. When I eventually move on, it must be to somewhere with a deeply caring culture like this - or a place I can nurture one - because it’s too precious to not have this in my life.

I got my hair highlighted in October. I was getting annoyed with the greys that were springing up and thought if I got highlights it would naturally mask them as they multiplied. Since October I’ve had at least 6 people in the “friend/family” category tell me it makes me look ten years older. Yeah, I see that. It’s also not very me. So I’ve returned to my natural colour. And I like it. Reflection: sometimes the long-term fix isn’t the right one, or the right right-now one.

Inspired by Sharon O’Dea sharing details of her recent stand-up workshop experience, I signed up to the “Funny Women” winter warm-up at the Groucho Club next Saturday. I’m really looking forward to it. I’ll let you know how it goes.